because i know you guys don't judge

i like it in his arms. i like being held, being warmed, my little hands in his mitts. i like getting kissed on the cheek, and i like his fingers crawling on my knee to tease my ticklish skin. he keeps on telling me i taste and smell like chocolate, and i like that it drives him mad when he tries to remember it in my absence. it seems cruel, to want to be wanted, and then keep away. the truth is, i can hardly contain myself anymore. i want to taste the bailey's off of his lips, as if we were the stars of the television commercial. (note: baileys was our drink of choice when we were at big sky mind last friday) and to straddle him like his story reads, to know if he can run his tongue along the walls of my mouth the way his character did. and to still be in his arms, naked and warm and vulnerable. i can almost feel how much better it would be, closer and sweeter than it is now.

do i just miss physical intimacy? i've only known him for a little over a month. but it's his sweetness and our crazy similarities that tempt me so. is that better than being drawn in by his looks?

this is what he said is dangerous... remnants of what we had with other people. my rockstar has a girflfriend already.

trust me to find out after checking his friendster upon seeing a new thumbnail for his default photo, 2 days after asking him for a legend's booking details for work. her name is... not ladylike (-). she's not as young as i am (+), not as pretty (-), not as short probably (+), probably as sappy (+). she has 2 kids (-) and seems like his old friend (+), lives abroad (-). what is it with single moms abroad? they sound like they're going to get married. kills me to think that maybe i should have made him a legitimate involvement. at the time, i didn't feel like he was hinting at giving us a real shot, but on hindsight... who'd stick around that long if all he wanted was something physical? more than one guy told me that already.

so should this push me or hold me back? i'm still tempted to give more than penguin hugs.